Reality Check

Reality Check: A Stress Test

Posted on February 23, 2026 by RealityCheck

This is not a test. However, if you want a test, here are a few questions you might ask. On a scale from 1 to 10, how stressed are you? How do you know that you are stressed? Do you have any control over that whole mix of physical symptoms, feelings, thoughts and actions that can go along with being stressed?
Almost a decade ago, I had come across a popular TED talk by health psychologist Kelly McGonigal. It was called “How to Make Stress Your Friend,” so you can understand why it was popular. Here we are, buzzing with anxieties and frustrations that we associate with stress, and it turns out that stress could be our friend! Who knew? Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged anxiety, choosing thoughts, perception, worry | Comments Off

Reality Check: Those Pesky Loose Ends

Posted on February 16, 2026 by RealityCheck

Do you suffer from loose ends? That is, nagging tasks and unfinished business that you can’t seem to get off your plate?
Apparently, there are people who don’t find this bothersome. Their outlook is that whatever needs to be handled will be handled at some point, so there’s no sense fretting about it in the meantime. Sounds sensible, doesn’t it?
Then there are the rest of us. We who would like to have the peace that comes from knowing that everything is handled. The tasks are done, decisions are made, the files are tidy, and the people in our lives are as we want them to be. Life is in order. What a state that would be, eh? Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged "should", anxiety, making choices, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: Closing Our Options

Posted on February 9, 2026 by RealityCheck

Having an abundance of choice can be a luxury in some situations. What food shall I eat? Where shall I go on vacation? Which friend will I spend time with today?
Having a myriad of choices in areas such as those does imply a life that is largely in control. While the choices are many, all of the options are pleasant. Even I make the “wrong” choice, it will still have a pleasant outcome.
Yet as we know, there are times when we need to make choices that aren’t as delightful as picking the most appetizing item from a buffet. Unfortunately, sometimes we need to make a choice when all of the options are undesirable.
For example, will I pay this bill or that bill? Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged choosing actions, examining options, examining wants, making choices | Comments Off

Reality Check: Maybe I Can…

Posted on February 5, 2026 by RealityCheck

When many of us lost power during the recent snowstorm, our habitual routines were disrupted. While even I am not old enough to remember cozy gatherings around oil lamps in the pre-electricity days, I understand it was not all “bad old days.” But our expectations, what we consider essential to be satisfied, have certainly changed over the years, haven’t they?
However, we do have some control over whether we are satisfied or not. According to Choice Theory, we are constantly weighing what we want against what we perceive that we have. If they match nicely, then we are satisfied, at least to some degree. If not, well, then we’re not satisfied.
What wasn’t matching our expectations? Continue reading →

Posted in Satisfaction | Tagged choosing actions, choosing influences, choosing thoughts, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: Dilbert and Beyond

Posted on January 27, 2026 by RealityCheck

Scott Adams has passed away. To many, Adams is known primarily as the creator of Dilbert, that cartoon character with the flipped-up tie and a sincere effort to do his job well despite the challenges of a less than-perfect workplace. As most workplaces are somewhat less than perfect, many people found common ground with Dilbert.
Human behaviour can be absurd, and that’s what Adams presented in Dilbert cartoons. Sure, it’s frustrating when you actually have to work with annoying, counter-productive bosses and coworkers, but it’s pretty funny when you see it happening to someone else, even if it’s just a cartoon strip.
Adams also created a serious body of work, including writings on how to persuade, how to change your perceptions, and ultimately, how to make yourself more useful, successful, and happier. Continue reading →

Posted in Develop Understanding | Tagged choosing thoughts, conflict, improving relationships, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Positive Power of Doing Something

Posted on January 22, 2026 by RealityCheck

Any time is a good time to assess how things are going, and the dawning of the New Year can add an extra little motivational kick. Thus, I’d recently suggested that now is a great time to take stock; to do an inventory, so to speak.
Let’s say you took that suggestion and ran with it. If so, then you have a written inventory of what’s in your life that’s valuable to you. Your list might include the people you know, where you live, what you are able to do, what you have, and perhaps even what your values are, such as what you know to be true. This is your inventory.
Choice Theory suggests that our actions can drive our thinking, and ultimately our actions can even direct our feelings. How is that helpful? It means that when we are feeling dissatisfied in some way, taking some kind of action can help. Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged choosing actions, choosing thoughts, gratitude, motivation | Comments Off

Reality Check: Taking Stock of Our Inventory

Posted on January 12, 2026 by RealityCheck

From time to time, many business take inventory. They look at the company valuables, such as equipment, raw materials, product that’s ready to be sold, and they record what they have. Is it what they expected? Are there important things missing? Are they over-stocked in some ways?
Many of us look at the dawning of a New Year as a time to consider a fresh perspective, make new starts (i.e. go to the gym) and assess how we want to progress. One activity that could be helpful at this point is to take stock; essentially take an inventory of the valuables in our lives.
In Choice Theory language, we could refer to this activity as self-evaluation. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged choosing thoughts, examining options, examining wants | Comments Off

Reality Check: Fresh New Year, Fresh New Changes

Posted on January 2, 2026 by RealityCheck

There are changes coming! While I’m at it, I may as well throw in a prediction about Maritime weather: It’s going to change! Not a big surprise, is it? Changes happen; some for the better; others just make things worse.
The dawn of a New Year gets us thinking about fresh new starts, taking different approaches, out with the old, in with something new. That’s all a way of saying, “I want a change.”
What might we want to change, exactly? Continue reading →

Posted in Making a Change | Tagged change, choosing actions, choosing thoughts | Comments Off

Reality Check: Gifts and Presence

Posted on December 26, 2025 by RealityCheck

It’s that time of year when many of us focus on presents. Ads surround us promoting the message: this is a time to buy.
Granted, getting and giving packages wrapped in festive paper and glittery ribbons does add a certain joy to the season. And, as many have said, “It’s the thought that counts.” The knowledge that someone cares for us, expressed in this tangible way, has value.
I’m going to suggest a wonderful gift that we can give to ourselves or someone else. It’s easy to find and inexpensive. It’s a present that encourages being present. Continue reading →

Posted in Perspective | Tagged encouragement, gratitude, perception, reality, worry | Comments Off

Reality Check: Where Will I Put My Attention Today?