Reality Check: Fresh New Year, Fresh New Changes

Posted on January 2, 2026 by RealityCheck

There are changes coming! While I’m at it, I may as well throw in a prediction about Maritime weather: It’s going to change! Not a big surprise, is it? Changes happen; some for the better; others just make things worse.
The dawn of a New Year gets us thinking about fresh new starts, taking different approaches, out with the old, in with something new. That’s all a way of saying, “I want a change.”
What might we want to change, exactly? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Gifts and Presence

Posted on December 26, 2025 by RealityCheck

It’s that time of year when many of us focus on presents. Ads surround us promoting the message: this is a time to buy.
Granted, getting and giving packages wrapped in festive paper and glittery ribbons does add a certain joy to the season. And, as many have said, “It’s the thought that counts.” The knowledge that someone cares for us, expressed in this tangible way, has value.
I’m going to suggest a wonderful gift that we can give to ourselves or someone else. It’s easy to find and inexpensive. It’s a present that encourages being present. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Where Will I Put My Attention Today?

Posted on December 26, 2025 by RealityCheck

My former colleague Jim had to attend a company meeting in New Brunswick with a few other employees. They drove out in early morning, allowing plenty of time for arrival. About half-way, they switched drivers; Jim took the wheel.
Jim was relatively new to Canada, but he had lots of European driving experience. He drove quickly and confidently. They arrived at the meeting. Late. Very late. Why? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Choosing Words for Difficult Conversations

Posted on December 13, 2025 by RealityCheck

Last time, I introduced Casey and Cathy’s story. It’s one where Casey has become resentful, perceiving that the more she does for Cathy, the greater are Cathy’s expectations. “Favours” have become demands.
Casey has decided that she needs to address the situation. Why? It’s affecting her attitude. The generous, kind-hearted spirit she once had is now cold and suspicious. One must not give an inch, or a mile will be taken! This is new for Casey, and she doesn’t like it.
Thus, the need for a conversation. It may be a difficult conversation, even a confrontation. Uncomfortable conversations can get ugly. People may say hurtful things; relationships can be destroyed. However, avoidance isn’t the answer. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Does This Call for a Confrontation?

Posted on December 6, 2025 by RealityCheck

What does a satisfying life look like for you? For many people, an important measure of a satisfying life is that it includes being on good terms with people. Exactly who and how many people will vary from person to person.
Some folks believe that it’s important to be on good terms with everyone they meet, while others are happy with a few close friends or family members. In fact, some of us need only one close person to be satisfied.
Whether it’s a big crowd or a tiny circle, staying on good terms with the people who matter to you can be easier said than done. Conflicts may not be inevitable, but the opportunity for conflicts does arise. No matter how close we are, different people have different opinions, beliefs and priorities. We won’t see eye-to-eye all the time. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Habit of Communication

Posted on December 6, 2025 by RealityCheck

Habits matter. They can affect how well our bodies work. They can influence whether we spend much of our time feeling joyful or despondent. Our habits can also contribute to how warm and connected we feel to other people.
It can be tempting to think that we don’t have control over our habits; we do them automatically. Yet we know that when we put our minds to it, we can deliberately create our habits. For example, we could develop a habit of getting up at a specific time every day. The process of creating the habit might be aggravating, especially in the beginning, but it’s possible to do it. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Choosing Direction

Posted on November 24, 2025 by RealityCheck

Both good events and bad events are happening all the time. Babies are born, but loved ones pass away. Financial situations rise or fall. Living arrangements change for the better or for the worse. Friends and family may draw closer together or they may fall apart.
Some of those events are under our control, but certainly not all of them. Does our perspective influence what happens in our lives? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Just One Makes a Difference

Posted on November 24, 2025 by RealityCheck

Would you like to have the power to change the world? You probably know how things ought to be. Whether we’re talking community, country, or the whole planet, things would be better if they were different. Different how? The way we want, of course.
It strikes me that the concept of changing the world is particularly attractive when we are young. It’s so easy to see all the things that are wrong, and hey, it can’t be that hard to fix them, right? Change the world! It’s been a popular sentiment, especially during the 60s.
Dr. Glasser has referred to the need for power as a basic human need. This power need isn’t an evil need, or a selfish need; it’s just a need, part of our makeup. We can choose many ways to satisfy it. What we choose will make a big difference for us and for people around us. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Now For Something Completely Different…

Posted on November 15, 2025 by RealityCheck

Do you ever get the feeling that you are too predictable? Every day it’s same old; same old. Your friends, spouse, or children tell you they know what you think and what you will do next. The worst of it, you realize that they are probably right! Much of the time, we act according to our habits and patterns. We do what we’ve done before.
We have valid reasons for this! We learn from experience (if we choose to do so.) When we find an action that works well, it’s not a bad idea to keep using it. We might use the same response so often that we don’t even think about it. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Choosing Our Response

Posted on November 15, 2025 by RealityCheck

Let’s go for a drive together. (Unfortunately, this drive will have to be in our imaginations, but we can pretend it’s as much fun as the real thing.)
We’ll set out on a leisurely trip. There’s nowhere that we have to be at any specific time. No one will be inconvenienced if we meander around the long way to see how the trees look now, how low the river is, and whether there’s wildlife lurking. If we run into construction delays, that’s no big deal. Whoops! We took a wrong turn (it happens); no problem. We’ll figure out how to get back on track sooner or later. It’ll be an adventure!
Now, let’s take a different trip. Same vehicle, same route, but this time, we have an expectation. Continue reading →

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